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Sunday, May 21, 2006

Thoughts on Self-Hatred, Hyper-Perfectionism and Self-Punitive Guilt in Spirituality

As many of you know, being severally hard on myself has been a big obstacle for me over the years. However, I am making progress thanks to meditation, mindfulness and the process of detaching, watching and observing. Another aspect to my healing and moving on from this perfectionism in following my spiritual path has been the words of the Great Mystic Dr. David R. Hawkins. And I wanted to share some of the quotes from his current book that have really helped me begin to soften up on myself so that I can finally make progress past this negative and retardive hyper perfectionist (in regards to spirituality) habit energy.

So without further ado I offer you the words of Dr. Hawkins from his book, Trascending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment:

"Anxieties and uncertainties are accepted as normal and concomitant to growth."

"Successful self-inquiry requires a realistic appraisal of the limitations of human development and tolerance for both ambiguity and the normalcy of being less than perfect."

"The lower emotions still erupt periodically and require correction, but they are now unwelcome rather then sought or valued."

"Fear of failure is diminished by realizing that one is responsible for the intention and effort but not the result, which is dependent on many other conditions and factors that are nonpersonal."

"Transitory difficulties of social realities are ACCEPTED ASPECTS OF HUMAN LIFE rather than being seen as personal insults."

James's comment: I hope some of these words help you as much as they have helped me.

The following is the review that I wrote for Dr. Hawkins and his manuals/books:

add my voice to the chorus of others speaking about this man changing their lives. His books have been THE motivators and manuals in my spiritual development, realization and advancments.

I too had the chance to attend one of his seminars and the energy in the conference was amazing. If he is in your area then I HIGLY recommend that you attend as this man is probably the most inspiring person, mystic and teacher on the planet today.

At the seminar I attended I had the chance to meet Dr. Hawkins up-close. I asked for a picture and put my arm around him for the photo. As I placed my hand around him his beautiful energy poured into mine and I was instantly invigorated and blostered. He then looked up at me and said, "Hello. It's good to see you."I was so touched that he seemed to recognize my energy and I came away from the whole experience exhausted but floating on air.

Again, I urge ANY spiritual aspirant (regardless of your "religion," if you have one) to get and read all of his books. They WILL change your life for ever and for the better. Namaste.

-Peace to all beings-

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M.D. Shellhammer said...

Thanks for sharing what must be a very personal experience James, it shows how open and authentic a being you have become. I have an idea about how people are helped by others and it comes from working with twelve steppers over the years. I have found that no matter how good the material is, it helps no one if they aren't ready for it. And, when the time comes for them to be ready, when they are so hungry for the truth that they would give up the most precious of their posessions (usally their ego or self image) then wisdom will seem to leap out of thin air. When this happens, when an "emptiness" is created within the person the universe seems to come rushing in with just the right thing to fill the void.
The work of Dr. Hawkins is one of many things that have helped me, the list being incredibly long, to include Jack Kornfield, HH Dalai Lama, Suzuki, Merton, Tillich, Buscaglia,

I thank them all for putting their work out there for us to find, for without such breadcrumbs the forest would be a dark and scary place!


laura said...

Thank you for this post, James! I had made plans today to make an honest evaluation of my life. I often write what it is I am grateful for, while trying to slough off the things I have more difficulty finding the positive in. Today, I thought I'd take a non-emotional look at the things that aren't so great and try and figure out my relationship to them without the perfectionistic mindset. These were the perfect words to start me on my way!

theycallmemac said...

What wise words. I hadn't heard of this man before but I will have to get some of his books. Any one in particular you would recommend to start with?

"James" said...


I am happy to share such personal things if it can help someone.

There are some names on your list that I have not heard of. I want to look into their works indeed if they are simmilar to Hawkins.

It is so wonderful indeed that ther are many travellers on The Path to help us and allow us to help them!


I am happy to have said something to help bring you help and support. I am here for you always.

I bow to the Buddha within you friend.


I would start with the first: "Power vs. Force." It starts the series. It is a big scientific at first but push through it and you will be vastly rewarded. Then read, "Eye of the I" which continues the themes and beyond. It is my favorite of the trilogy. Then comes, "I."

After the trilogy I recommend the one I am finishing now, "Trascending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment."

ENJOY!! I know that you will find much wisdom and inspiration from them. Hawkins states that just the indea of reading them brings us great peace and advancement

theycallmemac said...

Awesome, thanks James! I will go pick up "Power vs. Force" as soon as I can, and as soon as I finish my current book. I am exited about these books, thanks for the recommendations.

Patricia said...

Hi! I found your blog very interesting. May I create a link? I am just starting mine and I want to find people like you, who has a very positive thinking.

Trev Diesel said...

Wow, that's almost exactly what I blogged about today! Thanks for the recommendations, I'll check out his work...

"James" said...


Sure you can link to this humble blog. :)

Trev: Wow, synchornicity!! It must be an important topic to be discussing right now. I think that it is indeed a very important topic. It is a big obstacle for us in the west *of course in other areas of the world too) who grew up in fear, guilt and shame thrust upon us by certain religions and our culture.

"James" said...


You're very welcome.

Belly said...

James, wow. I haven't been about for many months and when I return this is what I see. Once again, timing is amazing. Or maybe my eyes are open a little more this time around... Thank you. I am just begining to explore my story and why I am so hard on myself in all aspects of life and reading this post brought tears to my eyes. My words are all tangled these days so once more I say, Thank you.

Take care.

"James" said...


I am more and more convinced that everything happens for a reason. Everything is interdependent as we Buddhists' say.

I am happy that "I" could say something that you need in this moment. It certainly isn't me's the Infinite Light of Universal Enlightenment passing through me to you.

We all help each other in Infinite ways that we can not even imagine sometimes. Not a one of us can survive physically, emotionally or spiritually without each other.

Thank-you for your light and positive energy. You are a blessing to me and this humble blog.

Keep on going!! I bow to the Buddha within you.

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