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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Meditation Troubles

I've been having a difficult time finding the motivation to meditate lately but I'm not sweating it too much. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my mental illness right now and re-adjusting my medications. I'm sure the meditation will come back eventually. For the time being I am praying to Avalokiteshvara for strength.

Breating in, Breathing out.

-Peace to all beings-

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15 comments:

theycallmemac said...

Hey James. Been having some troubles myself with finding time to meditate. I have been feeling extra lazy/depressed and don't usually get up in time to meditate. Sometimes I forget that it doesn't have to be in the morning. It's funny because whenever I meditate I usually have much higher spirits but it takes that initial motivation that is sometimes lacking.

"James" said...

Mac:

Yeah it's a bit of a vicious cycle but it's still hard to break sometimes.

cyclingdave said...

i am confident all will go well and i send you blessings and best wishes. when you find the time or the circumstances which allow for your meditation it will have greater value following its absence.

taza said...

i'm with mac.

it's like exercise in a way; i always feel better afterwards, but getting to the gym (or cushion) can really be tough!

that first step, etc.

meanwhile, you have my permission to slack off for awhile while you get your meds right!

we both know you'll be back.

:)

"James" said...

Dave:

Thank-you for your confidence, support and blessings. I feel them and thank-you from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot.

Taza:

Thanks!! I'm just trying to watch all that is happening right now and not attach.

Trev Diesel said...

You know this, but don't beat yourself up about it my friend! Ease and lightness, always! :-) Life indeed goes in cycles and you can't be upset about the "down" times - they're quite natural!

Just a side note, when I can't quite make time to practice sitting, I try to make the most of everyday activities and use them as meditations.

Peace and many blessings in your struggles....

"James" said...

Trev:

Yes, I do know these things, however, it is always a blessing to here them again in times like these when it is easy to forget them. Often hearing them from others gives me a different insight into these timeless gems of truth and wisdom. Thank you for the reminders and insights dear brother.

You're words remind me of my great teacher Thich Nhat Hanh who speaks of being able to meditate during seemingly "simple" tasks. I especially think of breathing.

We breath at all times and I try my best to concentrate on my breathing no matter what I'm doing. This especially helps me right now when I need something simple to carry with me at all times.

I am also thinking right now that I want/need to use my mala more right now as well. The clicking beads is a wonderful way to stay grounded in something and transcend the delusions of anxiety and fear.

Thank-you again for the reminders and love.

A big hug to you.

dragonflyfilly said...

yeah, i know what you mean james...well, keep up the good work.

i was having a really hard time Wed.Thurs. and Friday...i was feeling so stressed i could not catch my breath...tight feeling in my chest and could not do anything to relax myself...but i'm o.k. now.

well,
love and light, etc,
pj

"James" said...

PJ:

Thank-you for the love, light and support. I am so thankful for you all!! I am glad to hear that you are doing better. Impermanence is such a great tool to help us in moments like those/these. I am gaining more and more appreciation for that teaching everyday. It has helped me gain perspective, insight and patience with this current rough spot on the path.

It is hard, however, to call it to and remember it when faced with difficult times. I think that is why it is so important to constantly remind ourselves of its importance when we are feeling, "good." So that such regular reminders create a channel to easily access the refreshing medicine of impermance.

I was able to medtate yesterday and it was a great experience...like a refreshing drink of cool water.

Hopefully I am back in the groove.

Karma said...

I really appreciate the acceptance you express here. I often have trouble meditating on a regular basis. I just can't force myself to do it sometimes. And sometimes there is this pressure to really force myself. But, I think when I back off and give myself permission to not meditiate, that I'll come back to it from a better place.

"James" said...

Karma:

I am finally learning a little more acceptance in situations such as these. In the past I tried to force meditation, became frustrated and ultimately became angry at myself and others. In stead of just accepting the situation and myself for where I was right then in that moment.

I send you a smile and a hug. :)

Lans said...

I don't know a single meditator who has not experienced the ups and downs of MM (Meditation Motivation). I find it helpful when I begin to lose the desire and discipline, rather than actaully meditate, I try to look inside and see what has changed. Sometimes I find this self examination more important than the meditation.

"James" said...

Lans:

Great advice...thank-you.

Vern said...

My wife told me about this blog - we had a laugh together about zen diamonds...

I have meditated a while and I find that if I take meditation only as a relaxation time then I can almost always 'make time' for it. I just look at it as treating myself to some relaxation - and I do it regularly - not with any other requirements about it - just sit and let the stress of the day go from me... if anything else comes of it - it's a bonus!

:)

Vern & Joy
www.ThaiAmuletSales.com
Southern Thailand

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